For the first ever Rock-type Pokémon (or rather, Rock-Ground), the original Red and Blue games… got a rock. Obviously.

Geodude marks an interesting case about character design, and a common misconception I’ve observed from other people. The idea that inanimate objects can be alive in a fantasy world is almost immediately dismissed as “unoriginal” and “lazy.” Often, a company is said to be “running out of ideas” if even one oddball design like Geodude shows up in their character roster.

Frankly, such a mindset is depressingly restrictive. To think that characters must be limited to real-world animals or other living creatures is ironically more unoriginal and a true sign that an artist is running out of ideas.

I’m not saying that any old household appliance with googly eyes slapped on them is immune from criticism simply because it’s “different.” I’m merely suggesting that one should expand their horizons; a lot of thought and care can be put in a character design regardless of its source material.

Plus, in the context of Pokémon, Geodude shows that literally anything can be lurking in the shadows. You are never safe from the threat of a deadly monster!

Now, Geodude isn’t the highest example of the Pokémon franchise’s animated objects. The Pokédex only illustrates it as a literal rock with arms, nothing more.

However, it’s at least interesting from a visual standpoint. Geodude’s body isn’t just a perfect sphere. It has a jagged and irregular surface, with its arms chiseled out to have “muscles.” The overall look is striking as a result.

My favorite detail on Geodude has to be its mouth. When only analyzing Ken Sugimori’s artwork (above), it looks like Geodude’s body is carved out to mimic a jawline. In truth, it actually has a mouth that it can gawk to uncannily humorous degrees.

It’s great that Geodude’s design isn’t trying to take itself too seriously. It would be unfortunate for a talking boulder to not have a little self-aware silliness injected into it.

And let’s not forget about Geodude’s tendency to immediately explode when bumped into. It and its evolutions are notorious for having access to the overwhelming Self-Destruct at moderately early levels, and they aren’t afraid to use it. I find it amusing that these rock monsters can ignite themselves like dynamite.

For a little trivia, Self-Destruct is stronger than Hyper Beam (an attack many players think is the strongest attack in existence), and prior to Generation V it would ignore half of the target Pokémon’s Defense stat. It’s quite the devastating strike!

Oh, and later on it can learn Explosion, which is even more powerful than Self-Destruct. Because screw you, that’s why.

There’s not a whole lot to talk about with Geodude, but it’s still a charming character. It’s Game Freak’s earliest “inanimate object” Pokémon, so we’ll see stronger examples of what they can do with this concept later on.

Graveler is hands down my favorite of Geodude’s evolutionary family. I’ve always liked the look of this craggy, four-armed rock monster.

The random bumps and chips along Graveler’s body, as well as the “crown” above its face add impressive variety to its design. I especially love Graveler’s segmented fingers on its primary arms. While I have nothing against Geodude’s hands, I’ve always felt they look a little odd being perfectly smooth with fully opposable fingers. For a creature made of solid rock, Graveler’s stumpy fingers fit better (and look cooler) with this concept.

The Pokédex is still a little skimpy on details, but there’s at least a couple more things to talk about with Graveler. With a diet primarily consisting of rocks, Graveler usually scales the sides of cliffs to satiate its appetite. When finished, it casually rolls back down without concern for anything in its way. Yellow Version sums it up perfectly by explaining, “Obstacles are just things to roll straight over, not avoid.”

Basically, Graveler is a personification of rockslides. I love how this force of nature was turned into a character with a nonchalant attitude.

While still a low-key design, the Pokédex injects more personality into Graveler. In my opinion, Graveler is already a better example of Game Freak’s creativity with monsters based off of everyday objects.

Geodude’s evolutionary line ends on a rather anticlimactic note. Whatever aesthetic appeal Graveler was building up to takes a different approach as Golem.

Unfortunately, Golem just doesn’t work for me. I want to find amusement in a smooth reptilian creature wearing a giant, cracked boulder as a shell. But I only like the idea on paper, rather than how it looks in execution.

I like the line dividing Golem’s forehead, but I don’t feel it saves its face from looking bland and overall uninteresting. I want to say the simplicity makes for good contrast against its more detailed body, but I don’t actually feel that way, either.

Golem is simultaneously too detailed and too simplistic, and I don’t think anything fits particularly well in its design.

To pour salt into the wound, this is yet another Pokémon a Trainer has to go out of their way to obtain. It’s another trade-based evolution, requiring Graveler to be given to another player before it can change into Golem. In all honesty, Golem doesn’t have the same visual punch like other similarly obtained Pokémon, such as Alakazam and Machamp.

And in case it I didn’t come across as cynical enough, I can’t find anything interesting in Golem’s Pokédex entries, either. It behaves just like Graveler, but now it’s approximately a foot taller and 35 percent heavier. Apparently, Golem’s dynamite-proof shell sheds every so often, but it’s not a detail significant enough to change my opinion about this Pokémon.

What a shame that I don’t care for Golem. It’s clear that its design was supposed to be a surprise or diversion from Graveler’s, in a similar manner to Golbat when it becomes Crobat. But I simply don’t care for it and feel it could have been something different

I’ve neglected to mention that, while not as obnoxiously common as Zubat or Tentacool, Geodude has appeared in the majority of the core Pokémon games. With Alola bringing region-exclusive variants, Geodude obtained a new coat of paint to keep things fresh.

It may be a simple change, but I like this Geodude over its original form. Changing to half Electric-type has given it magnetic properties, causing pieces of iron to stick to its body. I love that this resulted in comical “bushy” eyebrows, as well as tiny sprigs of hair atop its head.

I may also like Alolan Geodude due to a personal childhood memory it brings up. During my elementary school years, my parents often took me to a local science museum. My favorite attraction was an electromagnetic sculpture that would cause iron filings to “dance” to music.

If you’ve never seen such a contraption, check out the video below:

I always think back about this silly thing when I look at Alolan Geodude’s “hair.” That alone makes this Geodude better than the older design.

I also like the modification done to Alolan Geodude’s hands. As I mentioned earlier, Geodude’s vanilla fingers aren’t terrible, but feel a little out of place to me. Simplifying them into three blocky shapes is a much better fit for a creature made out of chiseled rock.

Alolan Geodude is another simple alternate form, but it works. It has a solid enough concept that makes it appealing despite the small visual adjustments.

To be honest, Alolan Graveler is… just okay to me.

In addition to the iron filings, Alolan Graveler grows orange crystals along its body. The Pokédex explains this is due to consuming its favorite gemstone, dravite. I appreciate that there’s a reason for the random spots dotted around Graveler, but I don’t care for them too much. They look more like zits because of how they’re drawn.

Actually, it’s funny the more I think about living boulders having their own version of acne. It makes Alolan Graveler’s spots sound interesting on paper, but I ultimately still hate them on its official design.

Among other things I don’t care for Alolan Graveler is its mitten-shaped hands. Personally, I think it looked cooler with its fingers arranged in a tripod formation. There’s nothing more I can discuss about this point other than personal preference.

And that’s all I have to say about Alolan Graveler. I’m glad it continues from Alolan Geodude’s concept and tries to add more, but it ultimately doesn’t captivate me.

I hate saying a concept is “trying too hard,” as I feel it’s a lazy, pretentious phrase critics use when they can’t be bothered to explain why they don’t like something (spoiler alert: I am in no way better than everyone else and will likely use this phrase as a knee-jerk reaction in the future). But that’s sadly what I think of when I look at Alolan Golem.

I’ll try to explain my reasoning as best I can. I appreciate that Game Freak tried to do something different here, especially when I think regular Golem is so bland. Alolan Golem can generate electromagnetic forces strong enough to launch rocks from its body. It can even fit other Geodude in its cannon, which is a badass concept in my opinion!

But the way this concept is illustrated feels wonky to me. Because Alolan Golem’s cannon is colored differently and has less detail than the rest of its body, it looks simply tacked on like it’s a piece for one of those “mix and match” action figures.

Ever seen Marvel’s Hero Mashers toy line? That’s what I’m talking about.

I still approve of this concept in general, but I think it needs a major visual overhaul. Alolan Golem’s main body should better blend between the brown, craggy rocks and smooth, black stone.

As for the wacky facial hair formed out of iron filings, I’m really not feeling it. Again, I’m glad Game Freak at least tried to break away from Golem’s featureless, boring face. But when Probopass set the bar for fabulous magnetic ‘staches, to me Alolan Golem is failing to make lightning strike twice.

It’s either that, or I think the facial hair also looks tacked on because of the disharmony with the rest of the design.

Alolan Golem is an especially frustrating character for me. I see where Game Freak was going with this design, and it’s a far more interesting concept for Geodude to evolve into. But I feel it should’ve had another pass through the art department before it was finalized. The official product looks like a confused mishmash of parts, but everything on Alolan Golem could fit together if it was only refined.