Pokémon Colosseum
Excellent!
Teammates: Flygon + Skarmory
If you want an unstoppable duo, go with these two. All moves listed below are obtainable in-game.
Flygon
Earthquake
Dragonbreath
Crunch
Flamethrower
Skarmory
Drill Peck
Taunt
Air Cutter
Steel Wing
Spamming Earthquake is an age-old joke about Pokémon. It’s still just as cheesy in Colosseum. I remember the meta treating Flygon as the “lesser” Salamence, but it’s still perfectly suited to punch holes in teams. Although my Flygon was inefficient with Special Attack, it was worth having Crunch, Flamethrower, and Dragonbreath for the utility (plus, that 30% paralysis on Dragonbreath is great).
Skarmory’s tankiness is always useful, and of course it’s immune to Earthquake’s friendly fire. I was impressed to find that Drill Peck + Steel Wing had good coverage. I wish I had a replacement for Air Cutter (it’s pretty weak), but sometimes the chip damage to both opposing Pokémon was worth keeping it in.
Mt. Battle (in the story) is a cakewalk with these two. It’s hilarious.
Boss Fight: Mirror B.
This disco man with the Pokéball afro is the greatest character in all of Colosseum, if not all of Poémon. In a dark world, Mirror B brings goofy fun, regardless of the fact he’s supposed to be a threatening criminal.
His theme song is catchy, his Ludicolos perfectly compliment his disco motifs, and his “mysterious” name is actually a dumb pun (“mirror ball”). What’s not to love?
Bonus points go to Mirror’s oddball teammates. Sudowoodo is his Shadow Pokémon, who’s equally goofy and lovable. It ends up dancing as it constantly readjusts its tree disguise. I miss that idle animation so much (I’m sorry that I forgot to record footage of it).
When Sudowoodo is captured, Mirror B replaces it with Exploud, so that he has a musical Pokémon to pair with his dancers. Exploud is one of my absolute favorites, so I have mad respect for Mirror B’s pick.
Snag animation
Footage from FGPlaythroughs, see their full Longplay here.
I’ve been using words like “rescuing” Pokémon, because I really don’t want to say “snagging” like the game does. It gives me the same skin-crawling reaction as with “moist.”
Anyways, there are some amazing special effects while throwing a Snag Ball. The beams of light that shoot out form into a hand that reaches out at the target Pokémon! I didn’t notice this as a kid!
Slot machine battlefield
The owners of this casino have tabletop slots so that they’re up and away from Pokémon as they brawl against each other. How considerate of them!
The Soundtrack
No matter how flawed Colosseum is, and no matter how much you may like or dislike it, we can all agree that the OST is perfection.
Pokémon animations (off the top of my head)
Skarmory always stood out to me with its snippy and aggressive mannerisms. Each steel wing “feather” moves independently, which is best seen while flying.
I was weird about gen 2 Pokémon as a kid, so I never paid attention to the long manes on Raikou, Entei, and Suicune being akin to clouds. I fully understand the concept thanks to how Entei’s constantly flows in Colosseum. The three’s fluid manes look great against their stoic poses.
Togetic as a Shadow Pokémon
The final Pokémon to rescue from being a violent killing machine is the one known for its aversion to violence. I got a good chuckle.
AWFUL
Teammate: Hitmontop
I wanted to mix up my usual team picks with Hitmontop, but his moveset after purifying is HOT GARBAGE. Rapid Spin? Are you kidding me? CPU opponents never use entry hazards! It’s just a Normal-type sneeze on enemies; I might as well use Splash!
Triple Kick is also frustrating to be stuck with. It’s a multi-hit move that ramps up the damage each hit… barely. So it’s another chip damage move, making half of Hitmontop’s moveset unreliable.
The only role I could give him was firing off Intimidate and Attract. I had to resort to a goofy strategy just so Hitmontop had more to do than pat his enemies on the back.
Pokémon animations (off the top of my head)
Granbull’s appearance in Colosseum is why I hated its design for the longest time. It might just be me, but it looks too smoothed over, when its Gold/Silver/Crystal version art had sharper edges. It looks much better in the current games.
On top of that, I don’t like most of Granbull’s animations. When taking damage, its jaw stretches and snaps back like it’s a Looney Toon (or similar cartoon). When it faints, it drops to its knees, but its giant thighs get in the way and nerf the impact.
Ursaring also looks terrible constantly chopping its arms at its chest. I guess it’s supposed to be an intimidating “bear hug” motion? Honestly, it looks one step away from turning into crotch chops.
Mt. Battle (all of it)
This 100-battle summit is annoying no matter how you approach it. You will hate Colosseum if you trudge through Mt. Battle.
There are two ways to play: during the game’s story, or through a separate area of the main menu for a tougher challenge. Both versions of Mt. Battle suffer from the same philosophy as the rest of the game, meaning it’s bloated with unevolved Pokémon.
In the story, the “unstoppable duo” makes most of the fights comically pathetic. However, things aren’t quite the same in the “true challenge” mode, where the game freely tosses Legendary Pokémon in later battles. It’s not the worst thing for someone like me who can hack any Pokémon into Ruby Version and trade them over. But I can only imagine how awful this mode is for people stuck with the gimmicky story Pokémon.
Thanks to a GameFAQs guide, I learned that Mt. Battle gets worse: it attaches Soul Dews to Latios & Latias. For those unaware, Soul Dew is an exclusive item for the twins that used to be so broken, it was banned from official tournaments. And in generation 3, the only way to legitimately obtain one was through promotional materials. The game resorts to items that the player can’t even use themselves without cheating.
For my playthrough, I went ahead and hacked a Soul Dew for my Latios, because if the game doesn’t want to play fair, why should I?
My winning Doubles Mt. Battle team (Mega nerd discussion ahead)
Groudon
Earthquake
Rock Slide / Ancientpower
Flamethrower
Protect
Item: Shell Bell / Leftovers
EVs: Attack, Speed
Latios
Dragon Claw
Luster Purge
Recover
Surf / something else
Item: Soul Dew
EVs: HP OR Defense, Speed
The leading powerhouse that will shred through most of the competition by themselves. Like I mentioned earlier, if the AI gets to have Soul Dew, so do I.
Rock Slide isn’t a level-up move for Groudon, and it can’t be obtained in Ruby version. I couldn’t find codes for my GameShark model to brute force it. Rock Slide is preferred, but Groudon can manage with Ancientpower.
Protect is included for Groudon in case its ally has Earthquake.
A couple of my Pokémon had a Water-type move on them for moments where Groudon wasn’t on the field. Unfortunately, that idea was usually wasted potential due to Groudon’s Drought constantly activating. Feel free to replace Latios’s Surf with another move.
The Soul Dew will skyrocket Latios’s Special Attack and Special Defense, so take advantage of those free EVs and make him faster and a bit tankier.
Slaking
Earthquake
Rock Slide / Crush Claw
Ice Beam
Slack Off
Item: Lum Berry
EVs: Attack, Speed
Gengar
Skill Swap
Thief
Taunt / Haze
Destiny Bond
Item: none
EVs: HP, Speed
This is my stupid gimmick duo that I had a lot of fun using in combat. Gengar uses Skill Swap to trade Slaking’s ability to Levitate. Slaking gets to utilize its Legendary-tier stats without that pesky Traunt in the way. It also allows any other Earthquake user to go crazy, since Slaking will be immune to it.
Once again, Rock Slide gets better coverage, but don’t discredit Crush Claw, which has a 50% chance to reduce the target’s Defense.
In competitive play, this dumb strat is easy to counter. All someone needs to do is use Roar/Whirlwind, and Slaking gets tossed away and its Ability reset. But against the AI, there’s little risk of that happening (it’s still possible, but you’ll have plenty of Continues should everything fall apart).
Gengar is surprisingly good as a bulky and fast support. Naturally, once it obtains Traunt, it’ll have to either swap out or become a sacrificial lamb. No matter its Ability, it has a few other tricks up its sleeve. Leaving Gengar’s Held Item slot open allows it to pluck an opponent’s item and ruin that part of their kit. Taunt or Haze (the latter is an Egg Move) further messes with the opponent’s setup. And finally, there’s the evil Destiny Bond to drag down an opponent tearing through Gengar’s wimpy defenses.
Gyarados
Ice Beam
Protect
Rock Smash / Earthquake / something else
Hydro Pump / something else
Item: Salac Berry
EVs: Attack, Speed
Clefable
Follow Me
Moonlight
Toxic
Flamethrower
Item: Quick Claw
EVs: Defense, Special Defense
These two act as backup support. Gyarados was picked for Intimidate and natural immunity to Earthquake. I ended up using Rock Smash for the chance to lower Defense, but it’s extremely weak and a goofy choice. Hydro Pump saw no use thanks to Groudon’s prominence, so something else could go in that slot.
Clefable’s main strategy is spamming Follow Me to divert and absorb enemy attacks. I found this especially useful when fighting Kyogre, as it denied Groudon getting hit with Hydro Pump or Gyarados with Thunder.
