Since it’s the year of me being a hopeless fangirl for Shadow the Hedgehog (Generations remaster + the Sonic 3 film), I decided to once again 100% the glorious mess that is the 2005 video game of the same name (A ranks & secret keys. Not the story paths; I’m not that masochistic.)

For those who don’t already know, the stages themselves are part of the game’s infamy. If you choose to run for the classic goal ring (Neutral mission), the levels are completely forgettable. But for many Hero and Dark missions, there are dozens upon dozens of enemies to shoot down, with no room for error*. If there are 60 G.U.N. soldiers to hunt, there are exactly 60 on the map. “Tedious” is the best way to describe it even if you know what you’re doing.

(*I’ve seen 1 or 2 bonus enemies in a couple levels as an absurd gesture of “wiggle room.”)

With my memory refreshed, I’d like to ramble about the levels (I’ll look at bosses in a later article). I’ll be weighing them by the following aspects: aesthetic, music, tedium/difficulty of Dark and/or Hero missions, entertainment factor, and quality of secret doors.

As mentioned earlier, Neutral missions can be ignored in this discussion. All you have to do is rush through the level for an A rank; I have nothing remotely interesting to say about them.

(And as always, please enjoy my finest selection of crusty screenshots.)

Westopolis

It’s everyone’s “favorite” stage! Sonic Team in their infinite wisdom requires each choose-your-own-adventure path to start at Westopolis, which makes it exhausting to deal with.

I’d love if there was a pool of starting levels that the game picks at random, but that would break tradition. People have to see Green Hill Zone every time they reset the original Sonic, so they also “need” the sweet embrace of a dingy City Escape until the death of the sun!

I've mentioned before how Sonic games have roller coaster segments. Westopolis makes for a poor experience. Copy-pasted multi-story buildings are crammed together so tightly, that they block all potential for interesting faraway details. There's a generic billboard design for a fictional car brand, and a sign for a restaurant named “RESTAURANT”.

I can recognize Westopolis’s theme, but because 1) the hopeless fangirl thing, and 2) the sheer repetition of playing this stage forces it to be an earworm. It can otherwise be treated as stock music.

The song’s one decent element is the inclusion of distant sirens as an “instrument.” It adds to the atmosphere of the city in complete chaos.

Regardless if you pick Dark or Hero, the entire game kicks off with a checklist of 35+ enemies to cull, in turn adding its pacing to the kill list. With the visually dull set pieces also factored in, Westopolis is an omen of what to expect for the majority of Shadow game.

The Dark mission isn't nearly as bad as other stages, as you only need to scout out G.U.N. soldiers and a few stationary Beetle droids, all along a mostly linear track. Despite their dingy color schemes, they're not too difficult to see against all the browns and grays on the stage.

If you choose to destroy some alien “black creatures” (great translation job, guys), the pain may ramp up. For a lot of Black Arms, they stand in plain sight. However, in a couple of the open areas, tiny Black Wings free roam in the sky. It’s easy for them to slip off camera and get skipped by accident.

Because not one alien can be left behind, and backtracking is a chore, it’s easier to simply reset the entire level if you don’t hit quota on the first try.

A generic gun and an armored vehicle...

You can’t even drive it far before it gets blocked by a tall ledge. It’s easier and faster to simply run through its allotted zone.

By the way, there’s another vehicle right next to the door.

Digital Circuit

I've always liked the neon flair in this game’s two virtual worlds. Sure, Digital Circuit is padded with a lot of straight lines and floating cubes, but overall it has a decent variety. Shadow stages often have featureless pits under everything, but I think they’re a better fit in Digital Circuit (as if it’s unused server space, or the computer is only rendering what Shadow is accessing).

In the cutscenes, Black Doom teleports Shadow to this level, but there’s otherwise no smooth transition; Shadow’s just in the Internet, I guess.

I love the upbeat tempo and choice of electronic instruments for this song. 

Its catchiness dug into my younger brain so strongly, that I tried to recreate it as my town theme in Animal Crossing: Wild World. 

No, seriously.

So much for skipping discussion of Neutral missions, because reaching the goal ring is the target here.

Being that it’s an early-game level, Digital Circuit doesn’t push the player with its obstacles. There are a few death pits here and there, or waiting for cubes to line up over more pits. Horizontal glowing bars safely lift Shadow up to the next chunks of the stage. He can be guided to forks in the red circuits, but none significantly change exploration.

As much as I enjoy the level’s aesthetics (and it does the heavy lifting for the fun factor here), it’s disappointing how both the Hero and Dark missions follow the exact same roller coaster until the last minute. I’d love it if each mission had an exclusive section to spice up the experience.

Then again, this is a flaw with modern Sonic games in general. I might be asking for too much. The extra content would guarantee loading screens, and we all know how that went down in Sonic ‘06.

The “goal ring” is about a minute away from the Hero one (and you have to shoot it! Such variety!). Nothing particularly interesting happens during this section; there’s only a minor platforming challenge with more cubes.

A teleporter drops you off at a fork in a circuit that you ride through normally. It’s basically a gutter to the tracks, and it’s entirely useless (unless you’re dying to have a magnetic shield).

Glyphic Canyon

The PS2 hates rendering this level, often reminding me that Sonic games are held together with duct tape.

Glyphic Canyon was ahead of the 7th console generation and its many brown military shooters. The majority of it is devoid of visually interesting set pieces, all with the pesky void as the backdrop.

I think this stage is home to the objectively ugliest loop-de-loop in the Sonic franchise. No cool details, no fun textures, just dirt. It’s there to check a box for staple Sonic game props.

There’s one potentially interesting set piece with the ruins actually being an airship constructed by Black Doom. Unfortunately, the concept isn’t fully realized, as the only cool detail is a vague thunderbird shape in a couple areas.

Fortunately, there’s one legendary-tier aspect of Glyphic Canyon: it has the line from Knuckles.

There’s nothing noteworthy with this track’s chorus; it feels like it just exists. The guitar riffs are neat, though.

Touch the bulbous vivid green gems sitting in plain sight. They could provide the perfect opportunity to challenge the player to reach them, but alas, they’re as mindless as clearing out Westopolis (at least quota is way smaller here).

These gems apparently power the airship, but the alien guards standing next to them can’t possibly activate them. Black Doom needs Shadow to accomplish the task. But why? Is this a test of his faith? Is Doom’s infantry really that useless?

All the Black Arms are significantly easier to spot in this stage. They’re usually packed close to each other, and any flying units remain fixed at their spawn point.

An armored Black Volt provides a shooting range to build extra Hero score, and the optional enemy Hawks count towards the mission! This route isn’t mandatory to achieve an A Rank, but it makes it easier. It’s a good baseline for a secret door.

Something to keep in mind: this is the only special gimmick in the entire level. Without the secret door, Glyphic Canyon is only shooting at enemies and/or touching gems.

Lethal Highway

The Westopolis assets are better utilized in Lethal Highway, and its unique additions improve the scenery overall. Buildings have greater variety with their shapes and how they’re clustered. There are more billboard designs than the generic car ad.

I like how the Black Arms have infested the area with a strange vibrant goo (flesh/blood?). Skyscrapers in the distance are seen torn apart by it.

The highway itself is unfortunately a tad bland; I’d like to see more signs and lights. Also, I wish the black void below the stage was instead more of the fleshy substance. But overall, Lethal Highway is superior to Westopolis.

When it comes to gameplay, Lethal Highway is one of the most satisfying levels to simply run through. The controls in Shadow the Hedgehog are quite slippery, so the linear track is harder to navigate than it first appears.

The guitar does all the heavy lifting in this song, being at its strongest during the chorus. It’s no Escape from the City, but I won’t deny that it often sticks in my mind for days after I put my controller down.

Sonic needs help destroying a floating “tank”, but its dual-layer shield must first be shot down. Lethal Highway is generous with guns, so the only “real” challenges are the fussy controls and loosing a life (and ammo by extension).

One of the greatest strengths in this stage is that vehicles are actually useful. Shadow controls surprisingly well while driving motorcycles, and they have the benefit of eating damage from any Black Arms that collide. Lethal Highway is a rare instance in which a level was properly designed around one of the game’s advertised gimmicks.

It’s another goal ring cop-out. I’m not even bothering to snap a photo. That being said, the level is still fun to dash through as detailed earlier.

My favorite god-tier weapon, the gatling gun, is behind this door. The two clips provided are enough to utterly decimate the tank, even at full health. On a good run, this means the Hero mission can be completed in under 3 minutes (which is fantastic timing for a typical Sonic stage).

Cryptic Castle

This zone feels like it’s repackaging a lot of elements from Sonic Heroes. The other game’s Mystic Mansion is far superior in my eyes, so Cryptic Castle is a snooze fest in comparison.

Aside from one enemy (explained later), Cryptic Castle is pitiful as a Halloween-themed Sonic stage.

Something as simple as ghosts are merely tiny damaging props in a couple areas; I forgot they even existed until my second playthrough. They aren’t anything like the ones seeking hugs in SA2’s Pumpkin Hill.

You’ll occasionally run into a Jack-o-lantern puppet as a “jump scare,” but it doesn’t do anything.

The checkerboard-floored rooms are basically empty, save for some generic worn furniture and vases sitting in the corners.

This is the least engaging haunted house ever.

An extremely specific quirk that annoys me is the high pitched noises from the Jack-o-lantern balloons. The fact they leisurely stroll around the level means they get to dig into my eardrums for longer.

There’s one cool moment in Cryptic Castle: an ambush from what I call “Grievous Spider.” It rushes at Shadow for a few seconds, promptly leaves, and is never explained. That last part might be one reason why it’s so memorable to me. Sometimes, it’s more effective to leave a cryptid as a mysterious entity crawling around a haunted area.

I’m on the fence with this one. It’s simultaneously forgettable to me, yet also kind of catchy. Once again, the guitars are to thank.

There are 5 giant fire pits to ignite with readily available torches. If anything, they’re annoying because Shadow has to discard his gun to hold one. While torches can technically be used as swords… don’t. Close combat is horrendous in this game.

The only major “puzzles” while running between pits involve igniting a couple smaller torches (in plain sight) to open doors or spawn bouncy Jack Skellington heads. Even if you don’t want to do the Dark mission, you’re forced to use the stupid things.

Amy can't find Cream and Cheese in the castle. They’re always found in the same static place, so the only challenge is learning where they are. It’s an uninspired quest that gives me flashbacks to Team Chaotix in Sonic Heroes.

An improved Hero mission would grab from a list of locations they could appear in, akin to hunting for Emerald shards with Knuckles or Rouge in previous games.

Fun fact: this idea is present in Humongous Entertainment games (Freddy Fish, etc), which are intended for children younger than this game’s E10+ rating. Actual 5-year olds get a better-quality experience.

There’s a room with a bunch of normal Chao, which reminded me just how FAT they are in this era of Sonic games. Official art nowadays has them stand around knee height for the average (3-foot) character.

Prison Island

It's a nice change of pace to see bright greens and overgrown foliage. At the same time, a huge chunk of Prison Island is nothing but neon vomit pathways.

The worst part of this stage is how almost all of it is traversed via a hover disc, the absolute worst vehicle in the game. Shadow is forced to a crawl because he can't touch the toxic rivers.

The disc is also fragile, so carefully weaving away from walls is crucial. For a franchise known for its speed, this is a huge way to piss off players.

The chorus sometimes sticks in my head. Shout out to the guitars yet again.

Once you get your bearings driving a ceramic dinner plate, the target G.U.N. units are easy to scout out. A lot of them are hulking mechs with overpowered guns to scavenge. Everything around the mission is what makes it annoying (but hey, at least the unintended difficulty makes it more engaging than Cryptic Castle).

Credit where credit’s due, the devs wisely mark branching paths concerning the Dark mission. A lone Beetle at each fork causes players to instinctively head towards them. It eliminates the risk of getting lost in the stage’s repetitive design.

In addition, I discovered that Prison Island offers some wiggle room with a few extra G.U.N. units (not locked behind a secret door). That's worthy of a damn prize by this game's standards.

All you have to do is grab the “top secret discs” that float in the center of the main path. It's practically done on autopilot.

The hardest part of this mission is enduring Charmy’s excited screams in your ear. But you can mitigate the problem by setting the mission to Neutral and completing the other’s goal anyways.

Unfortunately, since this mission shares many of the copy-pasted toxic rivers, it has the same amount of tedium with the level’s overall design.

There’s ammo for a whole tank nozzle fashioned into a bazooka. However, bazookas are a pain in the ass to aim with (Shadow won't auto-lock onto enemies), and duplicates of the artillery are nowhere else to be found. You’re not given much ammo to begin with, so there's no point in using it.

Circus Park

Although it’s a backhanded compliment, Circus Park at least achieves its goal of feeling like… well, a circus.

The one good thing about this stage is that it's the origin of Shadow’s iconic line, “Where’s that damn fourth Chaos Emerald?!”

A minor detail I like are these goofy little Eggman robot decoys. They look adorable waving their arms around.

It's exactly what you expect for clown music.

You can’t miss the large green and gray GUN mechs against the blinding yellows and oranges in the stage.

The main gimmick in Circus Park is several shooting galleries to gather rings. However, they’re not important to the Dark mission. It’s a bunch of dead-on-arrival content that you can skip.

While collecting 400 rings seems daunting, it’s not actually that bad. Shadow loses only 10 of them when hit instead of the classic all-or-nothing approach. There’s a comfortable amount of rings throughout the stage, and it's possible to achieve an A rank while playing cautiously.

Honestly, I kind of wish Shadow had the classic ring health system (at least for this stage). Most modern Sonic games have a “collect 100 rings” mission, so Circus Park would have drastically higher stakes.

Would it make the level tedious? Absolutely, but it’d make it far more engaging.

Thankfully, you don't have to engage with the shooting galleries that the game tries to funnel you into. They're the worst way to earn rings, as Shadow’s auto lock-on struggles in these zones.

Central City

Circular level design is a rarity in Sonic games. It's a shame that Central City squanders this concept, as it looks ass and lacks clear landmarks. I have to use unusual and frankly stupid signifiers in this level, such as “tunnel,” “pole,” or “glowing vomit path with car.”

The PS2 has a deep hatred for Central City, as the frame rate screams trying to render everything.

Admittedly, this song has a good beat, but it's overall nothing to write home about.

Both missions involve bombs, with towering fat ones assigned to Dark. Despite the strict time limit, the measly 5 to detonate isn't so bad after routing the stage. The first 2 are found back to back within the first minute of playing.

The only other frustrating part is learning (or in my case, refreshing my bad memory) about the sneaky destructible walls.

Logically, the idea is so simple that I sound like an idiot for complaining. Agitate the blocks of red dynamite to open new pathways adjacent to them.

The issue is that the entire game teaches you different habits. Outside of Central City, dynamite blocks are always carried to another destination, and breakable walls are denoted by obvious giant cracks. Only in Central City is there camouflaged destructible terrain.

All I'm trying to say is that it makes the mechanic feel weirdly inconsistent after the rest of the game creates so much brain rot.

There's a crappy vacuum gun that must be used to pluck the smaller bombs that threaten to collapse the city. The circular and garbage design of the stage rears its head the ugliest during this mission.

Naturally, you won’t get credit for bombs that are activated by nudging or attacking them. I think some of them are red herrings scripted to blow up, but they always make me second guess myself. I don’t really know if there’s a margin for error.

All of this frustrating mess is backed by Knuckles counting down the remaining bombs like it's Sesame Street.

I honestly think this time-sensitive mission is worse than Security Hall in SA2.

The flying saucer is here to troll again! It’s impossible to rely on this snails-pace junk outside of hovering over the toxic pools.

Actually, it's not even good for that, as there's already a free car to drive over them.