I might have intimidated my writing muse after the novel-length energy put into Cynder. It doesn’t help that I also have comparatively little to say about bivalves. Which is a shame, because Earth houses so many bizarre ocean neighbors… but they’re not majestic birds or dinosaurs, so I naturally hit writer’s block with poor Shellder.

At the very least, Shellder got this aquatic newbie to hunt for answers to a burning question: that all bivalves do, in fact, have a “foot.”

If I had a morsel of interest in cooking shellfish, I’m sure this fact would have been a no-brainer. Rather, I spent more time than I want to admit scouring the Internet, all for that tiny lump that gets cut off in tutorial videos. This personal journey was not at all embarrassing!

Shellder primarily exists as a one-to-one reflection of its real-world counterparts. Alone, it lives the simple life as a filter feeder. The truly compelling lore is found when cross referencing Slowpoke, whom I’ve previously reviewed.

On the one hand, it’s a shame that the legend itself isn’t as exciting as its complex parasitic relationships. But on the other, I appreciate that even a “mere” parasite has a place on the Pokedex. It could have been easily glossed over like the mysterious fungus growing on Paras. But in this case, both it and its host can be tangibly collected.

Shellder’s inky sphere of an inner body may look insultingly basic, but I think it’s a loving joke to the anatomy of real scallops and clams. Their congealed organs aren’t impossibly Eldritch to describe, but may as well be a single amorphous blob to simplify their weird construction.

A clam’s particularly chunky foot translates perfectly into a “tongue” for a cartoon face. I love how Shellder is perpetually blowing a raspberry at its onlookers.

Of the smaller details, my favorite is how Shellder’s bottom horns prop it up like a camera tripod. This is another aquatic Pokemon that could simply float (which it does once in Snap), but Game Freak went the extra mile to make it believably grounded.

And of course, purple makes any design even better.

When not tied to Slowpoke lore, Shellder can independently evolve into Cloyster through the energy of a Water Stone. Cloyster isn’t really my cup of tea, but I can see its merits as a character design.

It’s a refreshing sight for a Pokemon to be built out of so many freeform shapes. Cloyster’s outer shell and mantle may be tragically yonic, but that’s to be expected when many bivalves are teased for the same reason. A coveted black pearl doubling as its head is a fantastic concept.

I only wish Clyoster kept the humorous foot-tongue. Shellder was already taking cues from multiple bivalve species; why not continue the trend? The devilish grin suits it fine, but that perpetual raspberry would enhance it.

Lore-wise, Cloyster’s claims to fame are its horns. In a twist from its source material, it can eject them like a missile barrage. And unlike its pal Slowbro, this is a detail that’s perfectly implemented into the games. I have stronger memories of Cloyster in the competitive scene (as opposed to the Anime), so that’s where my substantial commentary will be moving forward.

True to its biography, Cloyster has several volleying attacks at its disposal. Casual players will likely remember Fury Swipes, which is similar to Cloyster’s Icicle Spear, Rock Blast, and (pre-generation 8) Spike Cannon. While usually shrugged off as weak (“Hits 2-5 times” almost always results in “2 times for you”), Cloyster can bypass this unreliable dice roll. Diamond and Pearl introduced the ability “Skill Link,” which guarantees Cloyster’s barrage to fire off 5 times.

This was a neat little gimmick, but its impact wasn’t felt until Black and White added Shell Smash. By sacrificing some of its defensive capabilities, a Pokemon effectively doubles its offensive stats. When I was deeply invested in the metagame, I remember the sung praises over this single attack. For Cloyster, the combination of Shell Smash, Skill Link and multiple volleying attacks made it a terrifying beast capable of blasting holes into opposing Pokemon teams.

I was even inspired to breed a Cloyster myself, and… I wasn’t great with it in combat. I don’t think I had a plan B against my opponents when they countered my extremely obvious strategy. It helps to not be fully dependent on a one-trick pony.

I may have a short history with Cloyster, but that doesn’t take away from its solid concepts.