From brains and back to brawn, the Machop family is next to review!

Machop is one of the more difficult cases for me to review. As I’ve mentioned in past articles, my childhood had an incredibly strict definition of what makes a character worth even looking at. Originally, I didn’t care about Machop nearly as much as the fire-spitting not-really-a-dragon, Charizard.

Fortunately, my tastes have expanded as I’ve grown older. It took several years, but I’ve finally grown an appreciation for Machop and its evolutions.

Unfortunately, Machop still doesn’t rank very high in my book. It’s an okay design, but it’s cursed with artistic choices that make it feel downright clunky – at least to me, personally.

On paper, Machop’s core concept is highly amusing. It’s a child-sized, muscular lizard-man that can hurl a hundred adult humans without so much as breaking a sweat. A few Pokédex entries mention that Machop will casually use Gravelers as dumbbells (which are approximately five and a half times heavier than Machop). I love the mental image of a Machop plucking a confused rock monster from where it stands – not for hunting purposes, but just for exercising its muscles.

I have no problems with the ideas behind Machop. It’s the visual design that bugs me – but not even the entire thing. There are only incredibly specific details that I deem “clunky.”

Luckily, there are plenty of images I can use to illustrate my point. With that, I’ll go down a short list of what I think “doesn’t” work on Machop’s design, followed by what I feel is more fitting.

Firstly, I’ve never cared for Machop’s “vanilla” feet. What appear as short and stumpy limbs in Ken Sugimori’s art is actually the result of foreshortening. In profile, they’re actually boring, featureless loaves of bread that look like how I used to draw feet as a child.

The foreshortening accidentally creates a greater, visually striking shape. I think Machop looks more interesting with abstract, almost hoof-like feet. It’s a little bizarre, sure, but in a good way.

Secondly, while I don’t hate Machop’s general body shape, I also think it looks better in older artwork. There was a time Machop practically had a beer gut, with various degrees of exaggeration depending on the artist who drew it.

Especially with the Pokémon Pinball: Ruby & Sapphire sprite (top-right), I argue that Machop can look downright unsettling with such weird proportions. It injects an extra indescribable alien feel to the rest of its design.

Oh, and this Japan-exclusive Battrio puck? Everything about it looks bad.

This is by far the worst Machop art I’ve ever seen. I’m at a loss for words. Just… don’t make it look like this.

I may only have a couple (arguably minor) problems with Machop’s design. However, when this character is so minimalistic, every detail counts. A simple change of its feet or belly shape stand out sharper than a character with many smaller details.

Machop isn’t an awful design, but a couple personal gripes prevent it from being something I’d consider great.

Also, can we take a moment to admire Machop performing armpit farts in Diamond and Pearl?

If you’re going to make a lizardman monster, why not go all out and make it as humanlike as possible?

Machoke may simply look like a cartoony human wearing a lizard mask, but that could be taken as a complement. I grew up watching a lot of cheesy-awesome science fiction media, where monster designs like these are commonplace. Because of that, Machoke feels like a loving parody!

I mean, Machoke looks like something Captain Kirk or the Robinson family fought against. It’s brilliant!

Unlike with Machop, I have little to no complaints about Machoke’s design. It’s another simplistic design, but all the little details fit nicely.

I love how Machoke’s crest doubles as a mohawk. The triangular “Anime eyes” add to the cheesiness of its design in an endearing way. Most of all, I like how the red stripes on its arms help highlight its muscular build.

Although, those stripes gain a creepy factor the more I analyze them. Are they just red tattoos, or visible blood vessels? Or is it torn skin because Machoke is literally ripped?

Eugh, what an eerie thought. Since the Pokédex doesn’t go into detail about this topic, it’s safe to assume they’re just markings.

I only scratch my head over one part of Machoke’s design: the obvious belt and pants it’s wearing. I get that the belt symbolizes Machoke’s love for martial arts. From a lore standpoint, however, it’s confusing. Do all Machoke sew their own garments? Where do they get the belt from? More importantly, how does Machop spontaneously evolve pants onto its body?

Well, no matter the mystery, I’m kind of glad that Machoke isn’t buck naked instead. Based on personal observation, we humans instinctively get nervous when staring at nude, crotchless aliens that share the same anatomy as ours. I guess it’s because we’re such self-conscious animals.

Even if it breaks continuity, we have to clothe these fictional creatures to break the awkwardness. The blue cats in James Cameron’s Avatar are a perfect example of what I mean (they reproduce through their hair, which is always exposed. What exactly do they have to hide at the bikini line?).There’s no proof that Machoke’s belt was added for this reason, but I think it’s fair speculation.

Moving on from that overanalysis, there’s still discussion to be had in Machoke’s personality. At first glance, it’s nothing unexpected; as a bodybuilder, Machoke loves to constantly flex and showcase its muscles. It’s easy to assume that Machoke would be a hotheaded narcissist, right?

As it turns out, Machoke is quite a humble Pokémon. It loves to work out, but isn’t explicitly competitive. Its waistbelt is designed to restrain its full strength, or else it’d be an overwhelming powerhouse. This may suggest that Machoke always ensures a challenging but fair fight against its opponents. Despite its obsession with training, Machoke actually shows impressive sportsmanship.

In addition, Machoke takes immense pride and joy using its strength to help others. Most commonly, it lends a hand at construction sites. But other instances, such as the Anime, illustrate Machoke helping little old ladies carry heavy baskets around. I absolutely adore the “gentle giant” concept going on with Machoke!

I’m just about ready to wrap up this (surprisingly lengthy) review on Machoke. There’s just one more minor topic I want to discuss.

In the past, I’ve brought up how several idle animations for Pokémon were very different back in Stadium and Colosseum/XD. Machoke in particular has always stuck in my memory as having the most contradictory idle movement ever.

All that talk about Machoke looking tough, but actually having a sweet personality, is not illustrated here. The way it’s hunched over and swaying its arms makes Machoke look like a gorilla. It feels more like a primitive killing machine, rather than a collected brawler.

Compare this animation to Machoke’s generation VI+ sprite:

This is one of the times I actually approve a stiffer, subtly-moving idle animation. Machoke is standing its ground, but also keeping that calm and modest demeanor talked about in the Pokédex. This feels much more in-character than the older animation. I’m glad that Game Freak went with this decision.

Machoke’s prominence in the games and TV shows has helped flesh out its character over the years. I may not think about this Pokémon a whole lot when discussing the franchise, but I can talk a surprising amount about its design. All in all, Machoke is a solid character.

I didn’t think things could get even more cheesy awesome after Machoke, but Machamp has proven me wrong.

This four-armed, duck-faced muscle man looks like it could show up as an adversary for WWE. It even has a rash fighting spirit to go with its looks.

Japanese culture seems to love comically muscled superheroes. Think of Alex Louis Armstrong from Fullmetal Alchemist and Hildebrand’s father in Final Fantasy XIV. Machamp is another one of those wacky, purposefully over-the-top characters, often wearing little more than their underpants.

I’m puzzled that I never liked Machamp as a kid. I tried (in vain) to watch as many Power Rangers episodes as I could, so this campy Pokémon should have been right up my alley. Alas, I instead ignored it for being “too ugly” or something.

I know I’ve been bashing my childhood in these articles as of late, but come on, past me! Look at what you’ve been missing!

What’s really sold me with Machamp is its appearance in Pokkén Tournament. I’ve yet to play it myself, but I’ve seen its wonderful animations through Youtube videos.

This is everything I was hoping for when I made the previous WWE connections. The way Machamp struts its musclebound prowess, gleefully poses like a superhero, and throws temper tantrums when things go awry are absolutely perfect for its character. Best of all, Machamp incorporates all these comical human behaviors while keeping that “mutant animal” aesthetic just like its fellow Pokémon.

Funnily enough, I originally didn’t expect this Character Critiques to be so glowing. Machop’s family – and especially Machamp – were Pokémon I’ve never given much thought over. But now, I’ve realized how much Machamp embodies the appeal of the cheesy-but-awesome media I’ve always loved.

Gigantamax Review: Added June 6, 2020

It’s been a while since I last thought about Machamp! In all likelihood, however it’ll get filed back into my short-term memory once I’m done rambling about its Gigantamax form.

Machamp is a glaring example of the worst facet of Sword/Shield Versions’ Dynamax gimmick: that Gigantamax Pokémon are seemingly built to be disposable. Size change aside, Gigantamax Machamp looks like an alternate skin for Pokkén or Super Smash Bros. instead of a proper “superpowered” form.

The luminous orange arms and menacing eyes are admittedly interesting additions. But Machamp’s new tights, neck warmer, and slightly stretched horns lack the same visual impact. They’re so subtle to the point of being forgettable.

This is where the “disposable” factor comes in. Gigantamax Machamp is objectively an upgrade from its regular form, but not significant enough that you’d miss it if Dynamaxing was retired from the games. Whether intentional or not, Game Freak seems to be communicating an intent to abandon the gimmick (just like they did Mega Evolutions) for the next generational fad they conjure up.

Poor Gigantamax Machamp. There are Mega Evolutions, regional variants, and even other Giga forms that were given more attention and effort than this.