(Read part 1 here)

It’s not the most exciting Meta-Being visually, but I like the spider-like movements that Sun makes. Since he scuttles away so fast, I never noticed that his eyes are situated in the first digits of his legs!

I’m not entirely sure why this Meta-Being has a sun and moon face on his main body. I’m going to take a stab in the dark and say it’s because his human form wished for a peaceful world. The sun and moon could be a Yin and Yang dichotomy.

The main feature of Sun is the slimy web that he blocks hallways with. As a human, Sun lost a close friend, and with his fears of becoming a Meta-Being, shut himself away from the world. He became like that of a spider, unmoving and protective of his tiny sanctuary.

Despite the grim subject, it’s somewhat adorable that Sun’s web blocks other Meta-Beings from crossing. It’s like he’s trying to protect them from the protagonist!

Now, in-game wise, Sun is quite possibly the worst enemy to fight. If it sees you, it fires laser beams that both stun lock and pierce through anything in the way. And yes, you can run into multiple Suns placed behind each other.

If you approach him, he spits a liquid that makes the player character lethargic. If you attack his body enough times, he detaches from the web, but emits a gas that also applies Lethargy. Should you hunt him down out of frustration, he barfs a blinding gas. Oh, and killing him triggers another cloud of Lethargy.

Before I broke my equipment stats, these pesky spider things were agonizing to work around. I often had to reset the floor in hopes that the next randomly generated layout wouldn’t block me from escaping. The worst reset streak I remember took me nearly 45 minutes to leave with my health intact.

Aside from the identifiable human faces and warped hands, it’s hard to describe what this Meta-Being is. It floats through the air, presumably due to a gas it produces. This gas can be ejected through the creature’s fleshy tube “hair” to accelerate forward. It has a somewhat phallic tail, while its hands open up to a powerful yonic maw. Mysterious black tubes sit limply out of their two heads, but it’s not explained what they are.

Nicl & Nicr have a bittersweet existence as a Meta-Being. They are in fact two lovers conjoined together, and it was their wish for this to happen. They found comfort in their fate with the apocalypse. They’re aggressive towards the protagonist, but likely because they don’t want him to purify their soul(s) (a trait unique to him).

Cocteauhead is a minimalist creature design that I think works well. A spindly mechanical frame dispenses an unknown fluid into a bubbly stick figure construction. A disjoined head is the true creature who uses the whole framework as his body.

This Meta-Being was another hermit shut away from the world, and now he’s literally living in a bubble. If he bashes the player with his giant center bubble (somehow), it induces Poison. It might be a pun for all the delusions that corroded Cocteauhead’s mind.

There are a few interesting facets to Aries’s design. The most striking is how his head can swivel open to reveal a vortex within his body. Whatever’s in there, it spits out a lethal gas that easily chunks the player’s health.

Aries is one of the few “neutral” enemies in Baroque. Normally, he’s found sulking in a corner, unfazed by the player. But as soon as something bumps into him (including friendly fire), he enrages and makes a beeline for the protagonist. He keeps up a decent pace, too.

Awkwardly, I must address the… assets on Aries. His data entries don’t have any comments on the matter, and they don’t seem prominent in his original sprites. I guess they’re on his 3D model because they can be, just like the Meta-Beings with boobs.

Anyways, Aries used to have a high social status. He was on top of the world, metaphorically being a god. “Aries” was likely picked as his Meta-Being name because of the two being gossipers to the other “gods” in their circles.

Unfortunately, Aries’s lifelong pursuit came crashing down, and now he sulks in the Neuro Tower.

Several of Baroque’s concepts tie into Tarot. Whereas most Meta-Beings reference them in the names for their Idea Sephiras, Magician fully manifested as one.

Predictably, his human form was deeply interested in spirituality. Unfortunately, the apocalypse shook up his understanding of the world. He may wield a knife as a symbol of the sword Tarot suit, taking his broken heart and mind out on the protagonist.

He’s notably annoying to deal with in-game, because he can wildly swing that knife and stun lock the protagonist (I’m sure you can see a repeating grievance about attack spam). Sometimes, he even duplicates himself so that the player has to deal with another freshly spawned Magician

Design wise, I don’t find Magician particularly exciting. The technology-”magic” fusion with his hair is kind of cool, but I’m not a fan of the garish checkerboard half of his mask. The most interesting feature he has is in his animations, one in which he waddles about on the edges of his card body.

I’m probably overthinking this, but Magician’s metal hair might also be symbolic. In the original PS1 Baroque, God had a mechanical theme (much more interesting than some random Anime lady, to be honest).

The metal hair also shows up here, so there’s a chance they’re directly connected to each other. God is found at the lowest level of the Neuro Tower, while Magician is encountered above her. In other words, “As above, so below.” That’s a good pun.

Festum gained vast knowledge that others saw as forbidden, and it’s the one part of him that carried over to his Meta-Being form intact.

The Baroquemonger can’t discern what this knowledge is, so my only guess is to point towards the ice, electric, and poison spells he can utilize. Not many Beta-Beings have access to multiple elements.

Festum’s long stretchy arms are cool, but he’s otherwise a filler Meta-Being for me.

It’s hard to see, but this fleshy tank dude has a cigarette in his mouth. That’s hilarious! The firing nozzle being situated like a visor is super cool, too.

As expected from a tank, Joe decimates the protagonist if his equipment isn’t sufficiently boosted. Amusingly, it’s still possible to push his heavy body to the side if you’d rather not engage in combat.

Joe was likely dragged into the military while human. The Baroquemonger notes that Joe turned his gun on a close friend. The singular idea of protecting a “key” was ingrained in his head, though it’s not explained what it unlocked. His fixation got to the point that he didn’t even notice when the apocalypse hit.

I love the personality that Hana-nip’s animations bring out. He primarily attacks with the giant cymbals at the ends of two bonus appendages, and he has to cover his ears when clanging them together. The wind-up animation as he rubs the cymbals together is a great touch.

Often, a Hana-nip’s cymbals will continually clang even long after the player ran away from him. I’m not sure if it’s a glitch, but it fits well with this Meta-Being. The cymbals are ringing through the protagonist’s ears!

The cymbals may be a metaphor of his upbringing in what the Baroquemonger describes as, “A strict household.” Hana-nip’s data entries don’t explicitly mention abuse, but it’s easy to read between the lines as such.

Hana-nip has to awkwardly crawl around, because his lower legs have been replaced with a wheel. He can tuck his body in a “motorcycle” form to chase the protagonist, complete with a drowning tire screech. This aspect of his design isn’t super deep - he was a delinquent in a bike gang before the apocalypse.

This Meta-Being is referencing the princess from the legend of the Bamboo Woodcutter (just with 2 sisters as a spin on the story). Their giant mechanical arms are most likely the bamboo stalks.

To make things more obvious, Johanna Kyon can suddenly rocket straight out of the map (I didn’t catch footage of it, sadly).

Visually, the two sisters aren’t anything to write home about, but I like the technological twist to the legend they’re based off of. Plus, giant mech arms are intrinsically cool.

It doesn’t happen in the game, but lore wise this Meta-Being is uniquely capable of creating more Meta-Beings. Before this discovery, the facility hoped the sisters would bring miracles. Because their powers are so erratic and dangerous, an excessively long curse tag was wrapped around them. Unfortunately, it’s not guaranteed to suppress them.

The Deadly Meta-Beings

Exclusive to Baroque’s remake are four secret enemies based off of the four Tarot suits.

It requires a lot of mindless grinding to see these monsters. Basically, the Neuro Tower has to have its maximum of 39 floors unlocked, and the protagonist needs to have fused with God. I managed to grab footage of all but one, because I wanted to chuck my Wii U out the window from the built up agony of playing a mediocre dungeon crawler for what must have been 60 hours or more.

If I understand TheArchVillain’s guide correctly, my “reward” for defeating them isn’t a bonus cutscene, rather throwaway dialogue from certain characters being resurrected. Yeah, no thanks.

It’s a shame, because a couple of these Meta-Beings showcase the most epic character design skills from the devs. But they’re locked behind a secret, and I really don’t want to run through another 100-level bonus dungeon just to see them all.

Manas, sadly, is not the coolest of the Deadly Meta-Beings. The only things keeping me from ranking it “TRASH” are the spinning claw-knives and spinal column tail.

This Meta-Being represents the suit of wands, and that’s about the full extent of its existence. Apparently, there’s a pocket dimension involved, but the Baroquemonger can’t make sense of it.

Great, so I’m not even rewarded with cool lore for seeking out these floating twigs.

Now we’re talking! Malificia is the suit of swords, and it can transform between this slick skeletal fish and a proper blade. It’s a crime that this Meta-Being requires so much effort to simply glimpse at.

I love how fluid Malificia dances in fish form as it twirls its bladed arms at the protagonist. In a nutshell, this Meta-Being is as badass as the sword birds from DMC4. I wish I could have a collectible or even a model kit of this thing.

Malificia isn’t one particular soul, but fragments of many disjointed memories joined together. Apparently, a part of the Baroquemonger is in the Idea Sephira, but I don’t know how or why that happened.

Another amazing Meta-Being that can transform, albeit into a goofy scooting chalice. The suit of cups defaults to a “wasp” form, which is my favorite of the two. I like how the base doubles as a holy ring around her wasp head, and how the edges of the cup split into a “dress” of sorts, with the stinger hiding behind.

I had a difficult time recording footage, but I think there’s a second head for cup form? It doesn’t move, so it could be decorative for all I know.

The Baroquemonger is extra vague and poetic about Perisomata’s data entries, so I’m not entirely sure what to make of them. She seems absorbed in the way her town and its residents changed (I presume due to The Blaze) more than herself. Something about her couldn’t let go of the streets she called home, and the last of her memories as a human talk about her aimlessly wandering them.

This is the one Meta-Being I completely missed seeing and recording footage of. I hope you’ll forgive me for not wanting to run through another 100-floor dungeon to scout it out.

Tabula is the suit of pentacles, with the Zodiac scrawled on its circular stone tablet arms, and a large clock around its “coin” face. Based on her data entries, these elements all relate to destiny and how people look to guidance in the stars and Tarot. The Baroquemonger mentions multiple women, so it’s possible that Tabula also represents the three Fates.

The face apparently swaps between a happy and sad mosaic, but without footage, I don’t know how it’s animated. I like to imagine the abstract noodle body spits the face out and lets it coinflip to the other expression.

I like how Tabula combines all these additional concepts with the game’s usual Tarot themes, but the design feels underwhelming to me. Again, not knowing how it moves in-game impacts this opinion. Also, that name is just goofy sounding in general, like it’s a swear word or something.

A Few More Characters

A lot of NPCs weren’t anything noteworthy to me, but there are a few I’d like to give a quick shout out to.

This robotic entity is an enigma, with only one text blurb explaining that Cherub acts as a sentinel on floor -3900, where God is constrained. Its single giant eye follows the protagonist at all times. When approached, it tells him to follow the “PURIFY ORDER”, and will shoot him if he tries to attack.

Cherub is a cool design to me, even if I have no idea what’s going on with it.

When I first played Baroque, Longneck was one of the other prominent figures in my memory. His spinal column has jutted his neck as long as his waist is tall. It hurts as much as it looks.

Longneck is weighed by regrets and his sins, and wishes to shed his mortal skin to break free of them. Allowing that to happen is an act of mercy for him.

Stepping away from that depressing story, Longneck possesses one of the best out of context lines in the game (that I ran into).

Longneck has one great line, but Coffin Man has even better multiple lines, goddammit. He has to sprinkle in his favorite word into just about every sentence he utters, even if it doesn’t make any goddamn sense.

I’d love to hear every line of dialogue from this character, if only Baroque didn’t require so much grinding… goddammit.